Wednesday, November 3, 2010

80 desperate ideas for Aussie TV drama

DTtelevision.GIF Buckley's Chance - The many adventures of Trevor Buckley, a croupier at a high-rolling city casino. Lock, Stock & Barrel - The daily lives, loves and litigations inside the most fortuitous law partnership of Peter Lock, Jonathon Stock and David Barrel. Beat Around the Bush - Tales from the life of a busy uniformed policeman in a rural jurisdiction. Ball's in Your Court - The life and times of rotund prosecutor, Jeffery Ball QC. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Three girlfriends, all coincidentally named Rose, who just happen to be married to one Thorn brother each. Rock and a Hard Place - Centers around the affairs of rock and roll venue owner, Jason Hard, and the relationships of those who hang out in just one of his happening nightspots. Wood For the Trees - Follows the many dramas of passionate environmental activist, Shirley Wood. Hell or High Water - Climate change researcher Benjamin Hell insists his small community is heading for catastrophe, but will they heed his warnings? Eggs in One Basket - The often comical ordeals that confront Gerald and Jennifer Egg and their children as they travel the world in a hot-air balloon.

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness - Two likeminded individuals, Josephine Cleanliness and Annie Godliness, are brought together by their neighbouring desks in an adult call centre. Doubting Thomas - The police may think they've nabbed their man, but it's a good thing forensic pathologist Thomas Johnston is never too sure they have the right suspect. Freudian's Slip - Hilarious slapstick escapades of the accidental father, Humphrey Freudian. Falling Out of the Ugly Tree (and Hitting Every Branch on the Way Down!) - After researching his family tree only to discover he is related to the notorious Ugly crime family, James Ugly's attempts to disown his roots see his life falling hilariously apart, forcing him into a career as a reluctant but determined bank robber. Easy Pickings - You don't have to try to hard to score with Sharon Pickings, girl about town. From Dawn to Dusk - A gentle look at life when a man leaves a girl called Dawn for an African-American lady. Give a Little, Take a Little - When 40-something career woman Stephanie Little decided to adopt a teenage girl, she had no idea it would reunite her with the very daughter she abandoned when she herself was a teenager! Rule of Thumb - Sitcom concerned with the wacky dictatorship of Roman emperor Octavius Thumb III. Brain's Trust - The heart-wrenching misadventures of Alan Brain, most gullible man in the world. A Little Wet Behind the Ears - Thomas Wet has an evil twin who stopped growing in the womb but now lives in the base of Thomas's skull, from where he whispers wicked plans to his hapless brother. Quacks Like A. Duck - Follows the shambolic career of disreputable doctor Arthur Duck M.D., and others like him. Shoe's On the Wrong Foot - Danielle Shoe's friends insist the other Foot brother is more suited to her lifestyle. Hand Over Fist! - Hard-hitting political drama as authorities try everything to extradite public enemy #1, Isador Fist. Yu Scratch My Back - An insightful and often humourous look at Australian immigrant life as viewed from the perspective of Vietnamese masseuse, Kelly Yu. Heir of the Dog - A young man's father dies leaving him nothing but a lowly racing greyhound. Fat of The Land - The deadlines, love lines and bad dates of hard-working editor of The Land, Gary Fat. Ballpark Figures - Never a dull moment with the guys and gals from the Ballpark Modeling Agency. Scum of the Earth - Endless misunderstandings with riotous results as an alien race tries to come to terms with our first visitor to another planet, Astronaut Peter "Buzz" Scum. Water Under the Bridge - Wartime life in Sydney, Australia, through the eyes of The Rocks resident, Archibald Water. Get Phuck! - Melbourne's Asian crime gangs unite to put an end to the career of out-of-control assassin-for-hire, Choong Soo Phuck. Artsy Fartsy - Is there no end to the mindless workshops indulged by serial community arts addict, Belinda Fartsy? As Luck Would Have It - The history of Australia as one man might have preferred it, hosted by Peter Luck. My Name Is Legion - Barnaby Legion, private eye. Bitter Diatribe - Unhappy indigenous folk go on the warpath. Bull By the Horns - Fans of the bumbling Raymond Bull's first series will be delighted to see him faring no better in an orchestra than he did in the china shop. The Life of Riley - Some guy called Riley, luckily enough, and his life. Coming Home to Roost - A dyslexic prodigal son returns home to the scene of his incestuous ways. Goes Without Saying - The loveable Henry Goes stumbles through life without a larynx. Robbing Peter to Pay Paul - Historical fiction exploring what might have occurred had the Apostles' accounts been mismanaged. Read Between The Lines - The temporary sobriety of Daniel Read, cocaine addict. Queen's English - Effeminate literature lecturer Raymond Queen struggles to keep control of his hysterical students. The Head Honcho - The indomitable Jose Honcho clings to life, but will he ever find a body? Pillar Of The Establishment - John L. Pillar, upper-class twat. Down Pat - The adolescent tribulations of the excruciatingly depressed Patricia Smith. Reign's Supreme - A base of truth with a topping of laughter is life in Eddy Reign's busy pizza restaurant. Enough Already! - He's everybody's mate, but will Robbie Already ever shut up? Scared Stiff - Follows the thought process of a man who awakes to find himself absolutely dead and yet, somehow, still a coward. Like The Plague - This show's pretty bad, actually, and thus best avoided. Start from S.C.R.A.T.C.H. - Espionage and intrigue with Nicolas Start, field officer for the 'Society for Continued Reduction of All Things to a Condition that could at least be regarded as Honest'. Death and Taxes - When an undertaker meets a drop dead gorgeous bookkeeper, he digs her plenty. Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of - As one of the most reliable actors for a dream production company, Gregory Stuff is the unknown star of everyone's nightly visions, but will he ever realise his own dreams? The Final Analysis - The last surviving member of the Analysis clan wreaks his revenge. Wisdom of the Ages - The indestructible Jeremy Wisdom continues his interminable and apparently pointless wander through time. Pay Through The Nose - The daily grind for workers in a depression-era factory, where wages are calculated and distributed by none other than Anna "The Nose" Papadopoulos. Pain and Suffering - Desmond Pain and Denise Suffering struggle to make ends meet in their party plan business. Downe in the Dumps - Madcap entertainer Bob Downe leads us on an outrageous tour of the world's rubbish tips. Young & Foolish - Two more lawyers who couldn't believe their luck when they met. Love Is Blind - A black screen is all you get in this unique drama featuring the ultimately unknowable Peter Love. Achilles' Heels - The single life of Maria Achilles and all her terrible boyfriends. Poetic Licence - It's petal to the metal at the unconventional Haiku Driving School. Last But Not Least - Noteworthy musical arranger James Last was actually a very large man, as this in-depth documentary reveals. Hammer & Tongs - He handled the renovations, she tossed the salad, and together they fell in love. A Good Heart Is Hard To Find - Have you ever seen a pack of arseholes quite like the Heart brothers? The Balance Of Power - Civil court magistrate Gemma Power has an even-handed approach to the law. You, Me, And The Fence Post - Laughs aplenty with a fun-loving outback farming couple and the only durable friend they've got. Money Talks And Bullshit Walks - Set in the high-octane world of the Olympic 10km walking event, coach and manager Terence Money proves a hard taskmaster while athlete Sophie Bullshit goes for gold. Haste Makes Waste - Before Kenny there was Harry Haste, who had absolutely no interest in what happened afterwards. Hook, Line and Sinker - No, really...how do these lawyers meet? Tale Of Woe - The ongoing saga of Sir Alfred Geoffrey Tale, lord of Woe Manor. Short Shrift - The lows and lows of life for Reginald Shrift, midget. Turn The Tables - Unusual dark comedy told through the observations of one Jerry Turn, not so much a singular character as an ensemble of outdoor dining tables. Greater Love Hath No Man - The larger of the two Love sisters just cannot find a boyfriend, sadly. Fair To Middling - In a quest to get in touch with his family roots, second-generation British-Australian Terence Fair is on a journey to Middling-On-The-Marsh and there's nothing will stand in his way. Tales Out Of School - Everyone's favourite truant kid, Tarquin Tales, has graduated at last. Poker Face - Timothy Face, card sharp. Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed - Cop drama that follows the unlikely partnership of one very alert detective and another who, for some reason, has the arse of a possum. Blast From The Past - The continued adventures of Sir Horace Blast, time traveler. Bone Of Contention - More espionage with Kenneth Bone of Contention Global Security Group. The Spirit Is Willing But The Flesh Is Weak - When Paul Willing and Lionel Weak open a steakhouse together, it is decided one will handle the liquor while the other cooks the meat. Pandemonium Reigns Supreme - Things aren't getting any less zany in the second series concerning that pizza shop. Coast Is Clear - The life and crimes of Lawrence Coast, invisible man.

First published on The Daily Truth, May 28, 2007 2:45 AM